10 Ways to Boost Resiliency
Got LEMONS?
You know what to do with them!
Being resilient means bouncing back, rolling with life’s punches, and (yes!) making lemonade out of lemons. Resilient people live longer, happier, more productive lives.
In Part One of this series, I focused on what it means to be resilient, and the importance of being resilient in staying vibrant - strong, fit, healthy and happy - for the long term. If you haven’t read it, check it out here.
Resilience is a fluid concept
Like so much in life, nothing is permanent, right? There will be times when we are able to surmount obstacles quickly and easily, and times when life’s struggles seem all but overwhelming.
Happily, resilience is an attribute that can be worked on, strengthened, and honed. It’s a work-in-progress that’s well worth time and effort.
Let me paint a picture of a resilient, fierce, 50+ woman
She’s an optimistic, positive thinker, who is internally-motivated (makes decisions for herself) and believes in her ability to succeed.
She’s growth-minded and loves to learn.
She sets goals and commits to achieving them.
She asks for and accepts help when she needs it, and freely helps others.
She manages her stress wisely, putting her energy where it needs to go in any given situation.
She eats a clean diet that supports her body, brain and gut, cutting out toxins, processed food and empty calories.
She exercises regularly to maintain her strong body and physical resilience.
She gets enough restorative sleep.
She has a meditation practice and works daily on deep breathing and present awareness.
She practices gratitude every day, writing details in her journal.
She is financially secure and takes good care of her money.
She carves out time in her schedule for creativity.
She regularly donates her time and money to her favourite causes.
She stays inspired by reading biographies of successful, incredible people.
She has a spiritual practice that nourishes her soul and gives her a deep feeling of groundedness.
She makes a regular habit of being outdoors connecting with nature - forest or beach - whichever is nearby.
She continually works on her close relationships, connecting deeply with special ones and enjoying playtime with others.
She actively cultivates compassion and empathy.
She puts herself first, believing that self care is the ultimate way to being her best.
She’s had her fair share of tough times, but came through them stronger and wiser for each experience. She was able to reflect on them and move on.
Long list, right?
I created this avatar from a composite of all of the characteristics of resiliency I could find in a literature search: the physical, nutritional, psychological, emotional, spiritual and financial descriptors of the resilient person. And I superimposed them onto my vision of a badass 50 plus woman.
So, reading this, how did you do? Can you see yourself in this fictitious superwoman? I’ll bet you have many of those qualities - but there may be areas that need work. And that’s okay! That’s called being human.
Resilience takes practice. - Jeffrey Davis
My mission is to be this woman, and to create a world of resilient, badass women over 50. Would you like some help becoming that woman? Sign up for my newsletter so you’ll be the first to know when my Stay Vibrant health coaching starts in early 2021!
In the meantime, there are a number of ways we can boost our resilience when we’re feeling fragile and maintain it when we’re feeling strong and want to stay that way.
Here are 10 ways to boost your RESILIENCE
1. Fuel yourself for overall resilience
The way you feel on any given day is 80% dependent on what you eat. You can’t expect your brain and body to perform efficiently if you are feeding yourself low-quality, low-nutrient, junky high carb food.
Fuel yourself to become a fat-burner, to support your mitochondria (powerhouses of the cell) to make an abundance of energy, and you’ll have extra stores to power you through unexpected stresses and challenges.
How do you become a fat-burner (“clean”) as opposed to a carb-burner (“dirty”)? Eat food/fuel that burns efficiently and gives you energy. That’s more healthy fat, fewer junky carbs. And eat clean: organic fruit and veg, grass-fed animals, wild-caught fish.
You want your body to be a smooth-running machine, not slowed down by chemicals, toxins and anti-nutritious food that stresses the gut and the immune system.
I love the Primal Blueprint because I love the concept of ancestral medicine. It’s a complete lifestyle plan that makes total sense, based on the successful ways our genes have evolved to thrive and bounce back.
The foundation of Primally-aligned eating is the removal of pro-inflammatory grains, sugars and industrial seed oils, eating organic to avoid toxins, and giving up processed junk food - with the result being a resilient, fat-burning beast. YOU!
Are you a fat-burner or a carb-burner?
2. Supplement for immune, brain and gut resilience
It’s not realistic to think we can eat perfectly every day. I believe in taking some basic supplements as a bit of extra insurance.
Try these extras to supercharge your Primal eating plan and support your brain-gut connection, which in turn supports your immune system:
A good daily multivitamin
Vitamin D3
Omega 3’s in the form of marine fish oil
A good probiotic
Read this for more excellent info on immune support during the pandemic
Do you regularly take some of these basic supplements?
3. Get strong for physical resilience
Move, lift, sprint, and stretch. The definition of physical fitness takes aerobic endurance, muscle strength, conditioning and flexibility into consideration.
And don’t forget the mind-muscle connection: there’s nothing like a good workout to make you feel like you can overcome any obstacle!
Check out the Primal Blueprint sensible and totally doable approach to ancestral fitness. You can do this - it’s designed for all-comers.
Do you include strength training, sprints or HIIT (high-intensity interval training), and stretching with your cardio?
4. Manage stress for mental resilience
Cultivate a positive mindset. This can be done!
You may have to train yourself to be optimistic, to look on the bright side and expect the best outcome, but if you can do this, you will be much more likely to meet adversity head on and rise above it.
At the risk of sounding mushy, I’m going to mention LOVE. According to Dr Deepak Chopra, living a life of love leads to great happiness, but it doesn’t come easy to many in our world. We have to work at it.
Starting with self-love, kind words, loving thoughts of others, and having a conscious intention to be more loving can make us all more trusting, more grounded, and more willing to believe that the world is a good place.
In the end, these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go? - Buddha
Which brings me to purpose. Your reason for getting up in the morning…your WHY. Have you thought about that?
Sometimes it takes a little work to figure it out, and often we don’t get it until we’re well into middle age. But it’s what gives us the motivation to keep going in the tough times, the will, the GRIT to push through.
Learning expert Jim Kwik defines motivation as purpose + energy. It’s great to know your purpose, but you don’t get things done if you don’t have energy!
So, the tips given here on diet, exercise and sleep all tie into creating energy in the body. Create it and manage it.
Managing your energy expenditure is an important concept. In other words, choose carefully what you’re going to stress about and what you can let go (ie: what you can and cannot control). Store up your precious mental energy to keep you motivated and for life’s little surprises.
Have you thought about your WHY? Do you have an effective stress-reduction, energy-saving strategy?
5. Rest, sleep, and play to recover
Put yourself first! Be sure to create time in your schedule for self-care, and pat yourself on the back for it. You can’t be of service to others if you’re exhausted and burned out.
Schedule regular down time, spa visits, meditation or quiet time, time out from devices, whatever it takes for you to unwind on a daily basis.
Enjoy some fun leisure activities whenever you can - have a few laughs! Play has been shown in animal studies to improve the stress response and speed recovery from unexpected challenges.
And at the end of your day, get yourself ready for a night of restorative sleep. Among other things, sleep is extremely important for emotional regulation (keeping a level head) and learning (new coping strategies in challenging times, for example). If you’re not a great sleeper, and many of us aren’t, training yourself to sleep well should go to the top of your priority list.
Do you frequently enjoy a restful night’s sleep? Do you seek out regular play time? Do you feel that you adequately recover from stressful events in your life?
6. Go within for emotional resilience
Once again I quote Dr Deepak Chopra, physician and spiritual leader, who said “resilience is the most important single aspect of emotional intelligence. You allow your emotions to rise and fall naturally, without trying to stop or control them. Once an emotion has passed, you feel better, and you are able to return to a state of peace and calm.”
In other words, learning to be still and observe our emotions - for example, in a simple daily meditation practice - can blunt the turmoil that occurs after stressful events. We can learn to detach ourselves from our emotions and wait patiently for that calmness to return.
Do you regularly engage in meditative activities, such as sitting in stillness or walking in nature?
7. Get creative for problem-solving skills
You can build your resilience a little every day, by developing your creative skillset. So says Jeffrey Davis in this article in Psychology Today. Creativity is a positive character strength that can get us out of hot water by sharpening our ability to come up with novel solutions to problems. Being creative in any way, shape, or form hones our problem-solving skills for use in times of strife and adversity.
Do you have a creative outlet? Some examples include: writing, making art, cooking, journalling, making music, knitting, scrap-booking, building a model, photography, even decluttering!
8. Connect with others to receive support
Research tells us that strong social networks help people live longer and live better. But it has to be the right kind of support. Loving, nurturing care from people who know what you need and how you need to be supported are the ideal. What you don’t need is a circle of “friends” (or even family members) who are a drain on your energy. I think you know what I mean.
Develop a social group that is truly supportive of your projects, your ambitions, your life - and be willing to accept help from them when you need it.
And the ones who are not in alignment with your passions and purpose? Wish them well and let them go.
Have you taken inventory of your social connections lately? Are they truly supportive? Do you need to let anyone go?
9. Contribute to give support
Giving back is about giving of yourself. Volunteering, activism, and family and community involvement has been shown to help people overcome great adversity. Victims of violence and survivors of cancer, for example, heal faster and more fully by helping those in similar circumstances.
Do you regularly give your time and energy to a favourite cause?
10. BONUS ARTICLE!
Train your resilience for this and EVERY pandemic: I couldn’t conclude without a special focus on this very timely advice!
Quick RESILIENCE self-assessment
Did you answer “No” to any of the questions above? If you did, you have ready-made areas to work on in your efforts to fortify your resilience. Click on the links in any of the resilience-building areas to find tips for working on your journey to becoming that resilient woman!
When we learn to become resilient, we learn how to embrace the beautifully broad spectrum of the human experience. Jaeda Dewalt
This is what I did to bounce back…
I hit rock bottom in September. I was not prepared for how desperate I felt. Read about that journey here.
What did I do to keep going? To get up every morning and take another kick at the can?
I walked every day - for exercise and to breathe, yes, but to clear my head and take a break from relentless worry, too. And it was great for sight-seeing during the week in London - walking along the Thames, connecting with the autumn leaves falling and the flow of the river. I try to find Nature wherever I am - it’s free, accessible psychotherapy.
I meditated with online guided sessions at least once a day, sometimes twice. Two of my favourites are Deepak Chopra and Michael Sealey. These both provided a much-needed return to spirit; a sense of calm optimism and reassurance, and valuable training to stay in the present moment.
I started a gratitude journal, and found ways to be thankful for the good things in my life, even when I felt totally lost. That hugely helped bring me back to an optimistic outlook.
I shopped for good food and cooked every day. It was important to me to find a store that had organic produce, grass-fed meat and poultry, wild caught fish, etc. One of my walks was an adventure with my GPS to find my nearest go-to grocer. And I did!
Cooking, for me, is a creative outlet as well as the ultimate in self-care. I loved having a healthy, satisfying meal every night. I also found grain-free cat food. Bonus!
I took some extra supplements known to help with stress: B vitamins, magnesium, ashwaganda and astragalus, and melatonin for sleep.
As soon as I was settled at my home in France, I got back into the routine of working. This meant scheduling time for study - I’m still taking courses toward my Primal Health Coach certification - and writing, as well as all the administrative tasks that come along with relocating and starting a business.
I’ve found that keeping a daily calendar, just like when I was working as a physician and booking appointments, keeps me on track. I use Google Calendar and schedule my day from the minute I get up right through to bedtime, making sure to add breaks for exercise, shopping, meals and snacks, down time, etc. It all goes in my calendar and I stick to it. It works!
I set goals. Now, I’ve always liked the idea of goal-setting, but wasn’t really stellar at it. Now that I’m my own boss, I find that setting goals and mapping out the small-step strategies I’m going to do on a daily basis to achieve those goals is KEY. It’s amazing how reassuring it is, and how good you feel! Anything is possible, girlfriends!
As soon as lockdown is over, I’m going to work on developing my social network, getting out and meeting like-minded people doing cool things. I’m a hermit type and tend to fend for myself, so this is an area - for me - that needs attention.
And, finally, I remind myself every day of my purpose. My WHY. To stay vibrantly healthy as long as I’m on this glorious planet, and to help you, and as many of our over 50 sisters as possible, do the same.